Tuesday, July 29, 2008

dispatches from the deep

how is it that after graduating college i feel more like a dorked-out freak? i mean, i no longer pull all-nighters in the regenstein basement. i rarely cite texts in casual conversation. i don't even own highlighters anymore -and, boy, did that purge feel good. but, today i really threw myself into a tizzy. i woke up in a terrible mood triggered by some anxiety dreams about who knows what only to have it get worse when i realized that i had a cold sore developing. while perusing my natural remedy options on the internet, i checked in on my scrabbulous games, a new-found obsession of mine. instead of the page loading as it normally would to reveal a neck-and-neck array of tiles, it was a terrible dramamine orange box announcing that scrabbulous had been disabled in the us and canada. WHAT? i started to loose it. where else was i going to put all this bizarre, anxious energy that i had been channeling into my verbal competition? what was going to help me keep my mind as nimble and sharp or my spelling so correct? i had an over-the-top, but momentary melt-down. as i was trying to regain my composure, i recalled a message to a fellow scrabbulouser including a prediction about me mapping out conspiracy theories on my walls by age 40. this fear and likelihood was only made worse by going to go see the new x-files movie this evening. mulder is first shown donning a beard and pinning up newspaper clippings near the photo of his sister (duh) and the classic -now titular- poster with the ufo with the caption 'i want to believe.' i realized that i would have to figure out how to denote 'wing-nut' without being able to grow a beard. luckily, i had leafed through erin's copy of bust earlier in the day and spent some time analyzing little edie's outfits. the article was a preview for an upcoming book about the wingnut-turned-post-humous-cashcow/fashionista of grey gardens fame.

when did i turn into a cold-sore scrabble freak who lives at home just biding the time before turning into a full-blown conspiracy theorist and blogging about having a regretted crush on a tv character? in the spirit of henry rollins in live tonight sold out,

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