i drove all the way down. i need alot of revolutionary refreshment along the way.
on the drive down with hannah and pete woods, we happened upon a magical place called "little dude ranch."
AKA "Little Dude Expo"
it was a field of pony ponies and lil lamas and the like.
made some buddies, fed some friends. there were no people to be found anywhere. just tiny ponies as far as the eye could see. we piled back into the car ready to make the final leg of our trip when pete noticed another part of the ranch: an enormous metal cage. "what IS that?" there was a large black figure moving around. we drove closer to check it out.
oh, no big deal. just a chimp. on the side of the road. in southern indiana.
we couldn't believe it. there is no way that the lil dude expo should have a chimp. it was alone and there were solo cups like you would get at a keg party ripped up and thrown all around its cage. it was really sad. at first we were all so excited. i had never been so close to a chimp before. then it started to sink in. i probably should never be this close to a chimp. this was really sad. and really fucked up.
we started making jokes about how maybe the chimp was really the one running the place. evidence included the fact there were no people and that she would really be the perfect size to ride a ponypony. and chimps are really really smart. so smart that they would know to build decoy cages incase nosy humans stopped by to pet some little dudes.
i mean, they can even learn sign language, like nim chimpsky.
i don't know whether to try to plan a chimpnapping liberation effort or to just go back and try to figure out what other exotic animals they have.
also, i can stop thinking about how many airplanes that chimp has ridden on. can it even have a carbon footprint? do they take it out to the strip malls near greencastle, the closest town? does it im? i know what it is like in those small indiana towns -you NEED to im. we saw a teenage sk8r babe holding up a large sign advertising dominos at the main intersection in town. along with considering whether this long-haired chill teen god would read let alone respond to a missed connection, i started wondering if the chimp had ever eat a slice of pizza. then i realized, it may be fucked up to have a chimp on the side of the road in indiana next to a pony pony auctionhouse in a cage filled with shredded plastic cups for toys, but at least it can eat some pizza. and a chimp eating pizza is really something i can get behind.
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