The Pleasures of Hassan: A 1000 year old Top Ten List.

I have been reading all this Abbasid poetry lately. Woweewoo, did those 10th century Arabs know how to party! Here's an example: Attending a dinner party, Hassan was asked what he liked most about being alive. I couldn't agree more with the list the rattled off.


The Pleasures of Hassan, a 10th century fool, as reported by wandering historian 'Ali ibn Muhammad Abu Hayyan al-Tawhidi

-safety
-health
-feeling smooth, shiny and round forms
-scratching myself when I itch
-eating pomegranates in summer
-sleeping with wild women and beardless boys
-walking without trousers among people who have no shame
-seeking a quarrel with sullen people
-finding no resistance on the part of those I love
-associating with idiots
-frequenting faithful fellows like brothers and not seeking the company of vile souls

[This is quoted directly and in its entirety from Robert Irwin’s Night and Horses and the Desert (p173), which cites Abdelwahab Boudiba's Sexuality in Islam (London, 1985; translated from French by Alan Sheridan), p 128 as the source of this quote.  This isn't twitter. Here is a context that allows any reader to further their interest in this topic.]

The list moves from general conditions to simple bodily pleasures to a sense of the relational and intimate. Maybe it is an unfounded sense of importance or self-centeredness about the present that makes me marvel at how 1000 years hasn't changed a thing. Pomegranate drips from a chin in sunshine, pestering the pouty and somber to get a rise, a palmed pebble are all as satisfying to me as they were to Hassan.  I'm not trying to say there is some human condition that links us. (GAG) Rather, I am just impressed with Hassan's excellent selection of ideas. The variety of pleasures and the perfect icons that represent them are what makes this recipe for happiness so great. It's like he reached out from his tent near Baghdad to give a shaka.

Get To That

A recipe for happiness:

Jam this goofy/smooth jam this all day and night.

Hang in a paddleboat with your friend on a sunny day.


Eat roasted butternut squash.

K00L KATZ AND CHILL DAWGS

Spending a lot of time in the place you grew up can make you feel like you've done everything a place has to offer. Eaten every sandwich, taken every walk. But, during this current visit to Bloomington, I'm trying to do some things I haven't done before as well as the things I already know I enjoy. I'm swimming, hanging with buds, staying up late and sometimes going to be early and now PARTYING WITH BIG KATS.

I highly suggest that you make a visit to the Exotic Feline Rescue Center. About an hour west of Bloomington, in scenic Center Point, Indiana, there are 211 big cats hanging out behind some chain link. I cannot believe how these massive beast hang out. I've been around tigers before, but this was a totally different experience. The rescued tigers are unbelievably friendly. It took considerable conscious effort to not touch them as they rubbed against the fence a foot from me making this greeting sound called chuffing. It's like tiger purring mixed with huffing. I can't believe I had never been there before. Even in the 95 degree heat the cats were active -playing in the water, sounding off, leaping, eating.



Melissa and I got the full tour. They offer overnight stays too! We drove back on back roads, passing through Gosport and Stineville, two tiny Hoosier towns I had never been to before. We went a real deal mercantile complete with vintage soda bottle collection, While we were there we checked out some awesome buildings people have been revamping in these crumbling bergs.

 Then we went to the NAUGHTY DAWG -the new hot dog restaurant in Bloomington. There is a whole restaurant of only hot dogs now. It's in the Big Lot's parking lot, near the Dollar General between the Check'N'Go and a tattoo shop (WHAT'S UP INDIANA ONE-STOP SHOP?).



It's cool though because I got VEGAN CHILI DAWGS and Melissa had her first VEGAN CHICAGO STYLE DOG.  I like their giardiniera but will skip the neon green relish. Also the guy that works there really loves the Silver Jews, which is cool because I do too.

TWO THUMBS AND PAWS UP.

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING

Do yourself a favor and navigate over to the Beach Fossils page and listen to their new song "Sometimes."

I am not very good (STILL) at the internet so I don't know how to take the song from myspace and put on here.

But, I can make it a little easier for ya. Just click the words below and select "Sometimes" and you can hear what is like the best song I have heard in two days.

KILLER JAM








Brown County, Indiana.
You might know the view. Right off SR-47, just before Nashville.


I thought I would miss the fall. There is nothing like a midwestern fall. And while I miss those leaves, the air here has that same autumn crispness that brings blush in a nighttime bike ride, a slight tight chill in the lungs.

Covet it, wherever you are.

ROLL DEEP

GET SOME FRIENDS.
MAKE SOME STUFF.
HANG OUT.

UPTODATES

did you hear? I am back in Bloomington. At least until April 5th when I move to CALIFORNIA.

i got to spend an intimate evening with this freak.

He is very charming and VERY good at puns. But, he's simply not as freaky as I was really hoping for.


But, to fill that FREAK VOID, I got to see AMERICA'S FUNNY MAN, NEIL HAMBURGER!


I actually cracked my lip from my jaw dropping so many times before he had even gotten to the COURTNEY LOVE ENDING MATERIAL. It was like he was doing this FOR ME.


AND THEN i got my MIND BLOWN by SHELLSHAG

If you are one of the lucky ones heading to Austin for indie rock spring break be sure to watch them all three times they are playing.
For the rest of us, let us partake in some cyber approximation. (make sure you watch all the way to the end for the full effect)

SHELLSHAG
by lamesake

OH AND THEN

I got my SHELL SHAGGED -with a PERM



CAN YOU DIG IT?

SPRING IS HERE

feeling good

can be so simple.

back to the base

i was feeling pretty rough this morning. when i woke up, the weird metal valve in my bathroom was flooding everywhere. my half-packed boxes of books were in mortal danger. the water was hot and murky, which was even grosser than it needed to be. then i had to make all hundred calls to the landlord, super, the landlord's son, etc. i got the leak under control myself. it was just messy and obviously clogged. it wasn't as refreshing as the leisurely morning i had planned for myself of searching the nyfa website and drinking coffee.

i was feeling all restless and angsty when i realized something. oh, wait, things are still pretty cool. the world is still filled with pretty great things.

it was the discovery of a real live unicorn that really did it for me.

yes, i did just write "a real live unicorn."



not a joke. a shy italian unicorn no less.

it got me back to the whole point of this thing, the blog i mean. the idea was i would keep a record of the tiny, stupid things that make me feel so emphatic about the world being great. the world is this big thing. it's a big thing made of a lot of little things and sometimes you get to brush up against some really cool things.

like this lady


i normally get really annoyed by street musicians. but this lady! holy shit. i have never encountered such a silent subway audience. she was playing three instruments at once and also using her shoes to tap dance a rhythm. and she was stoked with this lady gave her a lunchable. she is a one-man-band and humble to boot.

i also started a new mixtape which is the first bummer summer mix i have tried to make. it is a delicate balance between summer jams and heartbreakers. i am driving myself back to bloomington this weekend and will need jams. i have never driven that long before. i have a tape player and a sunroof and i am pumped.

i am ordering my favie jams, listening to the wipers amid a bunch of boxes and drinking beer before noon.



addendum: what the fuck is going on with the figure behind the dogs? what the fuck is this picture?

funsplosion

bored? why don't you hang out with your best friends, get matching tattoos, flash a creepy peace, eat sushi, hang out at the mall, watch romcoms til dawn, go to a dance party or three, get creeped out at denny's, get tropical, stumble into a DOG PARADE, throw a genuine surprise party for your best friend, eat a garfield cake, win at life?

I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD

oh hey,

do you know what this is?




this is X playing, not that you could tell from this photo. (will someone please teach me how to take photos properly and also get me a camera that doesn't suck so hard?)

it is spring break.

how did i spend my last day of winter?
oh you know, watching the beautiful losers documentary with pearl, writing my paper about my favorite theorist and my favorite movie and LOVE LETTERS, having a beer with MY DAD at jimmy's and then going to my favorite restaurant where i ate my favorite sandwich (fake buffalo chicken wrap minus tomato plus avocado and siracha, duh) where my favorite person was working (lizzie) and then i ran into everyone i love in chicago. pearl, hannah, blake and lizzie all under one roof. does it get much better? oh, wait, it does. as i am drinking my current favorite beer (tecate) the babe waiter totally blasts black flag's first four years. i mean, come on! my dad and i are sitting at the bar drinking and talking to all of my friends listening to black flag and then we have to run because we have to go see my favorite band that i never thought i would get to see play. what? how am i so lucky?

x was so good. billy zoom is such a tight guitar player. john doe is one of the dreamiest people i have ever seen. he looks so punk when he was playing his beat-up bass. he kept knocking over stuff on purpose, mic stands, waterbottles and really enjoying the performance. exene killed it. my jaw was stuck open during the first three songs. it was during nausea that i actually got a little teary eyed. i was half-drunk with my dad at the show, both of us grinning ear to ear. exene's voice, moving between caterwaul and croon most of the time, really struck something deep during the chorus. "poverty and spit, poverty and spit." dude. her face was amazing scrunched up and focused. holy shit. i have listened to x for as long as i have been alive. when i was about 12 i made a crucial decision: "wild gift" was officially one of my all-time favorite records. it has been ever since. tonight in the car driving back to hyde park, dad said that "white girl" was one of his favorite songs in the world. he was glad that they had saved it for the encore. it is strange to realize that something like an old band, something that feels outside the range of your moment can suddenly be immediate, can feel alive, can make you feel alive. usually, i without thinking will refer to myself as punk. in the audience there was i think the most wide-ranging group of people that could fall under that moniker that i have ever seen. mohawks, old dudes, really young suburban girls with marilyn piercings, alot of rockbillies, my dad, the occasional grooveball, the basis of jack black's character in high fidelity and everyone all so excited to feel like they could participate in this. it wasn't unifying necessarily, but still there is something exciting and affirming in seeing so many people really enjoying something genuinely even if it was outside their typical range. it was the least "scene" show ever.

tomorrow is the first day of spring, john doe reminded us from stage.

hell yeah.

grooveballin

recipe for happiness number like 3
(can be done in any order)

-learn about nim chimpsky, great verbal hope
-skip homework to go to bar
-exchange scary stories with friends over pitchers
-talk to long-distance crush on telephone
-watch pete and pete (especially episode entitled "hard day's pete") while falling asleep
-wake up on the right side of the bed
-drink green machine and check e-mail in bed
-do dishes in underwear listening to 24hr revenge therapy
-get dressed to bluesy music
-put on shades and brace for the cold



(NOT nim chimpsky)

hey, you know what's cool?

when you're walking through puddles of slush but it's not getting you down. then you go to the sandwich spot and you're getting your FAVIE sandwich and the old dude behind the counter totally gives you the hook-up on roasted red peppers and avocado and then fucking 'heart-shaped box' comes on the radio in the deli. and then, even though it is colder than fucking antarctica, you got a spring in your step on your way to eat your sammie with your best friend while talking about crushes and making fun of failed spectacle critique.

showtime at the el sleezo: the two-hour cure

hey, so maybe you're feeling a sort down? a tad blue?
well, if you've got a case of the mondays or S.A.D. and don't have a dog to pet or friends to hang out with because you live in the crappiest part of the crappiest city because you're going to a school you hate, i've got a recipe that will put the world right -and all in under two hours!



The Muppet Movie (orig) is maybe the best movie I have ever seen. I actually watched in THREE times in 24 hours. I would recommend watching the movie first. It starts out slow with Kermit strumming in the swamp. There are too many great moments to really get into great detail but there are a few things I would like to point out -cameos aside.
1) the el sleezo bar is probably the best bar in the world. fozzie bear's sailor joke is the best joke. (hannah and i have SOLID plans to open a bar called the el sleezo that will also be a joke shop)
2) running gag of running gags
3) could also be called the muppet meta-movie
4) the image contained in the sentence "all i can see is millions of frogs on tiny crutches."
5) the showdown scene

(mea culpa: i kinda hate miss piggy)

so by the end of the movie you're gonna be feeling pretty okay, near good. you're gonna be a little weirded out because you're gonna be really inspired by kermit's speech to doc hopper at the showdown about what the power of collective joy can be -but roll with it. go ahead, put on "what we do is secret." and before you know it, right around the drum solo intro of 'circle one,' you're gonna be right back on track. in under two hours.