back to the base

i was feeling pretty rough this morning. when i woke up, the weird metal valve in my bathroom was flooding everywhere. my half-packed boxes of books were in mortal danger. the water was hot and murky, which was even grosser than it needed to be. then i had to make all hundred calls to the landlord, super, the landlord's son, etc. i got the leak under control myself. it was just messy and obviously clogged. it wasn't as refreshing as the leisurely morning i had planned for myself of searching the nyfa website and drinking coffee.

i was feeling all restless and angsty when i realized something. oh, wait, things are still pretty cool. the world is still filled with pretty great things.

it was the discovery of a real live unicorn that really did it for me.

yes, i did just write "a real live unicorn."



not a joke. a shy italian unicorn no less.

it got me back to the whole point of this thing, the blog i mean. the idea was i would keep a record of the tiny, stupid things that make me feel so emphatic about the world being great. the world is this big thing. it's a big thing made of a lot of little things and sometimes you get to brush up against some really cool things.

like this lady


i normally get really annoyed by street musicians. but this lady! holy shit. i have never encountered such a silent subway audience. she was playing three instruments at once and also using her shoes to tap dance a rhythm. and she was stoked with this lady gave her a lunchable. she is a one-man-band and humble to boot.

i also started a new mixtape which is the first bummer summer mix i have tried to make. it is a delicate balance between summer jams and heartbreakers. i am driving myself back to bloomington this weekend and will need jams. i have never driven that long before. i have a tape player and a sunroof and i am pumped.

i am ordering my favie jams, listening to the wipers amid a bunch of boxes and drinking beer before noon.



addendum: what the fuck is going on with the figure behind the dogs? what the fuck is this picture?

Elm Street

i think i am generally pretty posi, love life, affirm my interest in a state of being perpetually stoked. but, lately, the idea of time has started to really weigh on me. i am probably going to be alive for a while and that means making choices about how to fill my time -and there is alot of it to fill. ordinarily, that is something i do without thinking. i keep busy and rarely feel bored. if nothing else, i am pretty satisfied with my internal dialogue and personal jokes to feel okay about doing things i don't even really like that much because i always like making fun of things more than i dislike whatever i am forced to make fun of. but, my eternal flame of a pma is straining right now. i am just sort of at a loss with what to do. it's funny because it's a general fact. the thing is i have no idea what i will be doing at all after the next three weeks. i could literally fill my time with anything. i have zero plans and unlimited choices, which in a certain way makes making any decision harder. strangely, my new indecisiveness is also manifesting in my inability to do small things like decide what to eat, to read anything for more than a few pages at a time, or do anything besides lay in bed. this uneasiness is a normal part of any major transition i guess. but, it is sort of disappointing to be going through such a cliche crisis as i am about to graduate.

is it really so scary to be in the world?


i guess i have a pretty long lineage of people trying to turn dreams into reality.