can this camera

I was just trying to figure out how many flannels to put on before I go to see Let Me In for the second time (review forthcoming) and this is what I get bombarded with. I genuinely forget that these videos exist. And while I have a lot to say about the idea that the internet becoming a stockpile for a small but weird variety of media like this, I am mostly overwhelmed with shock when the internet suggests it to me. 

It's like how last night at the bar, this lady with nice glasses sent a dude with an old timey hat to ask me if I "hated" her because she thought I was giving her death stares. I wasn't. In fact, I was only looking at her because I liked her glasses! I had been told earlier in that same evening what an "honest face" I have -which I took as a particularly nice complement for what could be construed as an inability to prevent any insignificant passing thought from distorting my face. When the gentleman in the coal miner costume asked me if I had been giving her the stinkeye, I was shocked and could only reply "REALLY?" a lot of times before figuring out that it actually was hurting my feelings. "I try to be so nice!" and "I like her glasses! That's all!" was all I got out before the guy offered that he thought she was a crazy person.  He explained that his buddy was trying to hit on her and she wouldn't shut up about how I was looking at her so he was just trying to "put a cork in her ass" about it. While I like that phrase, I was still a little bent out of shape about the idea that I could unintentionally make someone feel bad like that. I feel like I try to put out good things into the world and more precisely to be friendly, but somehow the world gives me back felt hats putting corks in asses and bear attack videos when I am only trying to check the weather. I went over to smooth things over with girl who was still hanging out with those dudes who were international clothing importers or something. She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. It got weird only to get weirder when the boss of the two guys asked my name. I told him and offered my hand for him to shake and he tried to fucking lick my hand. I pulled back my hand and said "no fucking way" and walked off. No one seemed to laugh or even take note.

To bring this all full circle back to internet videos, I am one drink at the Hemlock away from becoming the Winnebago Man.

Watch this documentary. It's a fair treatment of a brilliant and true wingnut that a bunch of dumbdumbs like but don't really appreciate. Jack Rebney is a fantastic figure who isn't all that angry. His friendship with Keith is so great as is his love for his dog, Buddha. There is a really touching scene where Keith brings Jack the single biggest windchime I have ever seen. It's also interesting that one of the things that drove Jack to his hermit status is the faltering of television news media, particularly the lack of candor and dignity available in that form. Plus, you get to see his cool wingnut lifestyle near Mt Shasta. 

LURKED

I was checking in on a bunch of internet stuff this morning when I realized I had been CREEPED. LURKED. PERVED ON.

This was not a normal creeping, like a myspace message from some rando who was coming to the bay and thought it would be cool to hang out. No, this was way more direct and epically more sexual.

First, I got an email announcing that SPOWDER added me as a contact on flickr, so natch, I went to look at their profile. It turned out to be no one I knew, but we shared a few mutual contacts. Then I went back and looked at what they had added to favorites. All of the 10 photos they had added contained ladies' hairy armpits. Upon looking at his profile closer, I realized that he was a HAIRY ARMPIT PHOTO COLLECTOR.

The groups he belonged to really gave it away:
Grow a Beautiful Bush & Save our Planet (adult)
Addicted to Hairy Cunts & Pits
German sexy everyday girls and women - nude
Natural Hairy
armpits lover
Female Armpit Hair

I looked at some of the groups. It's almost all photos pilfered from people's profiles and uploads, mostly of of punk and hippie girls, a predictable hairy demographic.

I feel weird about it. I am sure weirdos have lurked on pictures of me and my friends before. I mean, I get it, the internet is public, but I haven't had to think about it or know specifically who it was since that spy thing on myspace. And now, he has added several of my friends.

I think my discomfort is also about being fetishized for something I don't think about or want to be fetishized for. For me, shaving is not a radical or even political stance. I recognize the political moments that went before that allow me to think about it a post-political way. I don't have to worry about whether or not shaving because a few generations of ladies before me did. Unfortunately, it's more that the beauty standards have multiplied and expanded to an endless shifting terrain rather than receded.

Anyway, what I really don't like is having to face the fact some dude is drooling over an already contested area of my body. Isn't it enough to do it privately? While relatively harmless, if you're going to fetishize me without my involvement or consent via the internet, can't you please keep it a secret so it doesn't make me feel weird when I am just trying to have my morning coffee and lurk on the internet in a lessperverse way?


To block or not to block? that is the question.