so, i am scouring the craiglists for most major american cities for jobs, apartments, non-underwear related opportunities and by far san francisco has the most annoying roommate posts i have ever seen. they may be just the most annoying thing i have ever seen under any circumstances. i'm not not a free spirit, right? i don't like to think i am a hater or anything, but sometime the faux quirkiness is just a little too much. it's like they ate some adderall after watching eternal sunshine of a spotless mind and were inspired to write the most quirky craigslist roommate ads. when it really comes out is the people who bother to write these questionnaires for the potential roommate.
this is a selection from the worst offender to date:
1. What in particular specifically drew you to respond to this posting?
1a. Who are you in 9 words or less, or a haiku:
2. In life, what do you do?
3. Why would you be a good fit here with us?
4. What are your top 3 favorite recordings that you’d take with you if you were to have to evacuate the planet to go to mars and could only take three 8 tracks, cds, records, or tapes with you?
5. Do u like madlibs? Finish the following sentence: George W Bush has a wife named Laura who can really put the__________ back in your ______!
6. MTV sucks. Please elaborate in 1 sentence.
7. You are against violence and you are a vegan who occasionally eats insects. You see a small sick little girl being bitten by an infected mosquito. What do you do; kill it? Ask it to leave? Call a long dramatic house meeting and act as a team to eradicate the flying fuck.
8. You have been asked to join the Bach street boy’s backup band for their tour of AfghanistanGetz.
What instrument will you play? Sorry, you may not sing or dance.
9. Which fake band name is cooler: Cuddlefish, the i can'ts, KasioKrist, press play, Kilt them all, or the Masters of Bating?
10. What would you rather do: Clean toilets and bathrooms, clean the food infucted kitchen, or pick up after others and vacuum the house?
11. You MUST vote for the next president so who will it be: the old Pope, Joseph (father of Jesus), that guy from “nightcourt”, Miss Nancy from romper room, John stamos. You must pick one of these people.
12. At Halloween you like to be: scary, stupid, original, drunk, any combo of the above.
13. In concise detail (1 sentence) what are any of the following things? A low frequency oscillator, a reducing compound, the word for “waste” in Japanese, a falsetto, the anal stage?
14. You are at a party, someone hands you a tray on which is a doob, a white line, a needle, a parcel of fresh air, a glass of scotch and a little tiny piece of square paper. You must ingest 1 of these. Which one and why (the tray doesn't count)?
15. Which column are you in? Column A: "I h8 fags and all sorts of other types of people". Column B" I like anyone except those in column A", or Column C "please leave me alone everyone as no one is cool".
16. Without looking it up!! How do you spell that word that rhymes with "with him" and describes a repetitious pattern? ei "That drummer has a great sense of _____. Spell that word.
i h8 quirky 30-something that still think h8ing mtv is relevant. "do u like madlibs?" you want to me describe myself in haiku and give you definitions for basic psychoanalytic concepts? am i applying to live at a satelite burning man convention?
it's times like this that make me wonder if the bay is the right place at all.