If these are the kind of role models we give kids, the best jokes we can hope for are saying unfunny misogynist things in a repetitive voice. And that is a future I do not want to be a part of. Except, then I found this website by an Adam Sandler: http://www.asandler.com/
I have no idea if this is actually Adam Sandler's official website. It seems entirely too good to be true. Like any good piece of cyberia, there are gifs, broken links, and weekly updates that haven't been touched in years. Not since Gilbert Gottfried's blog (RIP) have I encountered such a failed foray into the internet. He offers such gems as the Guide to safe fax and a list of things to do to piss people off as opposed to his separate list of things to do to annoy people. He even has an X-Files drinking game.
It is just perfect.